Thorns
by SilverRainStorm
Summary: Sinking deeper into depression, Kurama's heart longs for Hiei's love while his body aches to be held by anybody. As he struggles to overcome his fear of confession to Hiei and his loneliness, another guy approaches with what seems to be true affection...
1. Chapter One

Summary: Sinking deeper into depression, Kurama's heart longs for Hiei's love while his body aches to be held by anybody. As he struggles to overcome his fear of confessing to Hiei, another guy approaches with what seems to be true affection for Kurama, bringing in another set of problems...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, but I came up with the character of Tamahome. So there.

A/N: Rating for later chapters. The cursing will definetly increase.

Thorns  
Chapter One  
  
"Listen all you need is something to get his attention. You know, something provocative."  
  
"Provocative?"  
  
"Yeah. Kurama, you gotta make him curious as to what's underneath your clothing. Show a little skin or something."  
  
"Tamahome! I'm attempting to admit my true feelings for him, not seduce him. And I'm by no means a female, nor any good at flaunting, so stop that right now. Besides, I'm sure Hiei wouldn't notice..." Kurama explained, sprawled across his bed and staring solemnly out his bedroom window.  
  
The two teenage boys had been sitting in Kurama's room all afternoon discussing Kurama's dilemma of if he should confess that he was in love with Hiei, and how he should go about doing it. Tamahome, who was optimistic about Kurama's chance of a possible relationship with Hiei, had come up with idea after idea (flaunting, sending flowers, simply telling him...) to help solve the problem, and Kurama, who was pessimistic about his chance (to him it was more like lack thereof, really) of a relationship with Hiei, had given a reason to every idea as to why he shouldn't do it.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...Kurama, I still don't see why you can't and don't just come out and tell him. What's the worst that could happen?" Tama question, flipping through a magazine.  
  
There were plenty of reasons why he didn't want to confess. One, Kurama had never told anyone that he was in love with them; Two, Hiei would most likely not return the same feelings for Kurama; Three, if Hiei DID return those feelings, Kurama felt that he wouldn't be able to keep Hiei satisfied and happy; Four, Kurama thought that he didn't deserve to be with Hiei, and so on and so on...  
  
But instead of speaking his insecurities out loud, he meekly replied that there were plenty of reasons why Kurama objected to Tama's plans of to "just come out [literally] and tell him", and that anything you could possibly think of that might go wrong would go wrong.  
  
Kurama sighed painfully. That nervous feeling he had whenever he thought of Hiei rose up in his chest and it hurt to breathe. Depression was painted on the 15-year-old boy's face.  
  
"This dude's really getting to you, isn't he?" Tama asked, looking sympathetically towards Kurama as he sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. "Tell me about him."  
  
He shut the magazine and tossed it aside, in favor of the new discussion of 'the perfect guy'.  
  
"His name is Hiei. He's a fire demon."  
  
"A fire demon? Are demons even interested in relationships? I mean, from what you've told me all they seem to want to do is kill.''  
  
"Tama, have you forgotten that I am a demon?" Kurama sighed.  
  
"Oh! Yeah, sorry Kurama. It's just that sometimes you don't act like a demon is all."  
  
_That's right, I'm merely the logical human-loving, demon-backstabbing loser who wastes his life away with his 'mother'..._  
  
"Well...do you think he likes you back? And is he even interested in a relationship?"  
  
"It's difficult to tell what he's thinking...The only emotion he ever really displays hostility..."  
  
"Towards you?"  
  
"No, not now. However, he did attack me upon our first encounter."  
  
"He attacked you? I'm hoping you gave him a good ass-kicking," Tama joked, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
Kurama didn't answer. He sighed heavily, his eyes closed, the image of their first meeting replaying in his mind, along with every pleasant memory of Hiei that he could think of. He immediately felt his cheeks grow warm and his heart raced as though Hiei was present in the room. The feeling brought a smile to Kurama's face, for it was the feeling he had whenever he was around Hiei, a feeling he enjoyed having even though it made him extremely nervous. For a moment everything was fine and he felt no pain. But it only lasted a moment because he soon remembered that he was nowhere Hiei, and the pain returned. He slowly opened his eyes, the feeling long gone, and noticed Tama staring curiously at him.  
  
"What?" Kurama asked.  
  
"I asked you a question and you just...drifted off into your own little world," Tama reminded him.  
  
"Oh. Right, of course. Well, technically – ''  
  
"No, no, don't get technical! I'll get confused, just tell me who won."  
  
"No one won," Kurama answered.  
  
"No one? Ooohhh, I get it! You guys are still fighting! You fell in love with the enemy! That's a very interesting plot twist, Kurama. Tell me, are you sadistic?"  
  
Kurama's eyes widened questioningly.  
  
"No...I'm not sadistic, I'm – ''  
  
"No, you're right, you're not sadistic. You're masochistic!" Tama teased.  
  
Kurama reached over to his desk and threw his chemistry book at Tama.  
  
"I'm not masochistic, nor sadistic!! I'm – ''  
  
"– sadomasochistic?" Tama finished for him, grinning widely and thoroughly enjoying teasing Kurama. "I'll bet you use that Rose Whip of yours in bed. Does Hiei like that?"  
  
Now Kurama, who was also grinning (and blushing), was standing on his bed and throwing all of his school books at the laughing Tama, who dodged all of them easily. After the books stopped flying, Kurama spoke.  
  
"We are not enemies. I am not sadistic, masochistic, or sadomasochistic. That reason why no one claimed victory in the battle is because he was injured. I treated his wounds, and then he left."  
  
Tama thought for a moment before asking, "No seducing? What's wrong with you?!"  
  
He began laughing again, but immediately stopped when he caught Kurama's ice-cold glare from across the room.  
  
"You know," Tama began, looking sympathetically towards Kurama, trying to get back on his good side. "Sooner or later you're going to have to tell him."  
  
Kurama sighed and plopped down on his bed.  
  
"Yes, Tama, I'm aware of that."  
  
"So why don't you – ''  
  
"Because I'm scared to...I don't want to ruin it..."  
  
"Now, see, THAT'S why you have to show a little skin and make him come to you instead of you having to tell him!"  
  
Kurama blanched slightly and replied, "No. I don't think I'll be taking that course of action. And I told you to stop bringing that up!"  
  
"Okay, fine, no seducing...Well, hey! Write him a letter telling him how you feel instead. That way you don't have to show any skin or have a chance to screw it up!"  
  
"You couldn't fathom the amount of opportunities there would be to completely destroy what little friendship Hiei have together," Kurama argued.  
  
"Not if I help edit it for you!" Tama offered, flashing a big salesman-like smile.  
  
Kurama scoffed.  
  
"Come on, who's better at editing love letters than me? I can make it sexy and romantic! Does Hiei like his men romantic?" He teased, sticking out his thumb.  
  
Kurama blushed madly.  
  
"I...I don't know what Hiei likes...I mean..."  
  
_...I'm not even sure if he likes men..._  
  
Kurama glanced nervously around his room, like he was making sure no one could see or hear what he was about to ask. Slowly he got off his bed and sat down on the floor beside Tamahome.  
  
"Could you really make it sexy and romantic though?" He whispered quietly.  
  
Tama stared at Kurama.  
  
"...Why do you have to whisper? No one's in here,'' Tama replied loudly.  
  
Kurama giggled.  
  
"Could you?"  
  
"Yeah, sure, if you wanted me to. I suppose I could quote some Shakespeare or something. 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate...' ''  
  
Kurama giggled again.  
  
"I'm sure Hiei's not interested in literature, let alone Western literature...And he's not that temperate..."  
  
"Kurama, do you really love him?" Tama asked, changing the subject, even though he knew the answer was a most definite 'yes'.  
  
Kurama didn't answer. He was too busy daydreaming of Hiei with a smile on his face. It didn't make any sense; usually when he thought of Hiei he became depressed and sullen, but now, there was nothing but happiness. Just thinking of Hiei reading Shakespeare made him happy and somewhat amused. He closed his eyes, and on the backs of his eyelids images of Hiei trying to understand Shakespeare's vocabulary and dialogue played. He giggled to himself, knowing that Hiei would throw the book (or letter, depending on what he was reading) aside, claiming that it was a waste of his time, that it was human nonsense that had no point whatsoever, and he would thoroughly insist that he could in fact understand it but it was too foolish.  
  
"KURAMA!"  
  
He jumped a little, awoken from his daydream, and opened his eyes again.  
  
"Kurama, I think it would be best if you wrote the letter yourself," Tama suggested firmly. "And no quoting Shakespeare, or anyone else, just write how you feel about him. I'll bet that alone would make it more sexy and romantic than I could."  
  
Kurama's smile faded as he looked at Tama with uncertainty in his eyes.  
  
"But a minute ago you said you would...I...I can't write a love letter...I have no experience..."  
  
"I know, I changed my mind. This way is better. And it's not like you're applying for a job here, you're writing a love letter! And I never said I wouldn't read it over for you, I said I wasn't going to write it for you."  
  
The red-haired demon didn't move. He sat, leaning against the wall, considering his options. On one hand, he could write the letter to Hiei, confessing everything he had ever felt for him, let Tama read it to make sure that he didn't make a complete fool of himself and have Tama make fun of him for the rest of his life for writing such a cheesy love letter. And maybe, just maybe, Hiei might not laugh in his face, if he did it right. On the other hand, Kurama could not tell Hiei anything, have the pain he had felt since day one steadily increase and die miserable with Tama STILL making fun of him, only this time for being too afraid to say or do anything.  
  
"Kurama," Tama began. "This is the only option you have left. I'm sorry, but you've shot down all my other ideas. And I know that you don't want to not tell Hiei because you'll only be miserable. I don't want that either. So just write the letter, okay?"  
  
"But..."  
  
"No, either you write the letter or I tell him myself,'' Tama threatened as he stood and slung his school bag over his shoulder.  
  
Kurama glared, his equanimity quickly fading, but nodded only because he knew he didn't have any other choice.  
  
"Good. Now I've gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow at school. And I'll probably be in the mood to read something, okay?"  
  
"But I'm not capable of writing a decent love letter in one day!" Kurama complained.  
  
"Shut up and write what you can!"  
  
The tall brown-haired boy grinned back at Kurama, quietly shut the door to Kurama's room and left, leaving Kurama wondering if this was going to be a huge mistake...  
  
A/N: So...is it stupid? A complete waste of time? Should I keep writing new chappies? Review please, so I can stop asking these dumb questions. Tell me what you like, what you don't, what you think I should improve on and I'll try to, unless you're mean, in case I won't. So no flaming, because if you don't like the fic then go write your own and make it better than this. And then let me read it so I can criticize it. Only kidding. But seriously, review! Depressed people love wonderful reviews. And don't judge the fic by the first chapter, this chapter was really difficult to write. You know, introducing the characters and the original conflict is not my best thing. And trust me, it gets a lot better. I hope. And excuse me using Shakespeare instead of a Japanese poet, but I don't know any. It's a cliché, I know, but shut up.


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH.  
  
A/N: Watch out for a tiny, tiny spoiler (If you've already seen the episodes where they 'Rescue Yukina' then you'll be all right.) And in addition to cursing (I forgot to mention this last chapter), someone might get some and someone might get their ass kicked. Also a bunch of other stuff, but I don't wanna ruin it too much. And mad thanks to those who reviewed, I really appreciate it! And gomen nasai that it took so long to update. Well, here ya go.  
  
Thorns  
Chapter Two  
  
He tried to put his pen to the paper. He tried to write the words he was feeling, to completely pour out his entire being into one simple letter. But nothing would work; nothing could describe the pain and the affection he locked inside.  
  
For as long as he could remember, Kurama had been in love with Hiei. They had started off as friends, but with the more Kurama knew about him, the more he liked him. And when they weren't slaying demons or saving the world from destruction, he began to miss Hiei. He found himself daydreaming of Hiei during his classes and before he fell asleep at night.

Around him he became nervous. He wanted to speak with Hiei, to talk to him and spend time with him, but he was scared to say anything. He didn't want to make a fool of himself. So he said nothing, he barely acknowledged that Hiei was even there and instead watched him walk by through the corners of his eyes. For some reason, Hiei did the same thing to Kurama, and it hurt. In the beginning, Kurama told himself that it wasn't worth it, he forced himself to stop wondering about why they never spoke, and he forced himself to stop caring about him. Some days he felt no attraction to him; he could see Hiei and not feel a thing towards him. But then, for whatever reason, Hiei would speak to him. He'd say something small and irrelevant, and even as tiny as it was, it was all that was needed to make Kurama's feelings return. And there he'd be again, back where he started, hiding in the depths of his mind, dreaming about Hiei and silently wishing for his love.

Eventually hate sunk in. At night he would sit in his room, staring at the wall, thinking of every horrible thing he wanted to scream at Hiei for ignoring him. But it only made him feel worse, because inside he knew it was all his fault. He had no right to blame Hiei for anything, except maybe not caring. He ruined their friendship in the first place by falling for him.

_If only I hadn't let my feelings get in the way...Maybe...Maybe we still might be friends..._  
  
Sometimes Kurama's wishful thinking would kick in and half-way convince himself that Hiei might be in the same position as Kurama, and that Hiei was ignoring him because he was attracted to Kurama, but didn't know how to handle his feelings. But it was only a silly daydream, Hiei's seemingly hateful actions told him so, and he knew that Hiei would never care for him like he did for Hiei.

But he still could not figure out why Hiei ignored him. They had been friends, but now...now it was like they never even knew each other. The only possible explanation for it was that he ignored him because he ignored Hiei. But Kurama told himself that he had a good reason to. What exactly was Hiei's excuse? He didn't think it was very fair – he was too terrified to speak to him, yet if he didn't they would never be able to at least be friends, because it seemed to him Hiei didn't value their friendship. It was all up to Kurama, and he didn't have to courage to do it. While he hated him, he realized that he was in love, because it was impossible to hate someone this much without caring for them first, and it made him hate Hiei and himself even more. He loved Hiei with all his heart, would do anything for him, even if it meant death, but the feelings and promises were not returned and were meaningless while unspoken.  
  
Words could not describe the hate Kurama felt for Hiei. Or the love he had for the koorime. Or the tornado of emotions swirling inside Kurama. He had never hated someone so much in his entire life, and at the same time never loved someone so much. Whenever Kurama was alone (and even when he wasn't alone) with his thoughts, all he could think about was how horribly cruel and insensitive Hiei was and how unfair it was for Hiei to treat him like this. He'd sit there, on the verge of tears, and curse Hiei. But all Hiei had to do was walk through the door and all of Kurama's hate was replaced with nothing but love as he watched him from a distance. The pain wasn't so bad when they were close, because he was too busy worrying about 'What shall I say to him?' rather than 'Why does he always speak to others and not me?', so he was almost numb around him. But as soon as Hiei was gone, everything came back, only much worse because he had once again missed an oppurtunity to say something.  
  
Deep down he knew he should confess, but he didn't have any real intentions of telling him until his run-in with "Kuronue". Years and years ago, the spirit fox Yoko Kurama and the bat demon Kuronue were thieves, stealing whatever they could get their hands on. They had been best friends since childhood; however Yoko had developed romantic feelings for Kuronue. He didn't want to jeopardize their friendship by telling this to Kuronue in case he didn't feel the same, so Yoko kept it to himself, thinking it would be best for the both of them if he just stayed quiet. It wasn't. Kuronue was killed during one of their robberies, leaving Yoko alone, depressed, and missing his best friend and his love. He never had the courage to tell him how he felt, which he deeply regretted.  
  
When Kurama saw "Kuronue" again, all of his feelings for him returned and he remembered the pain he had felt after Kuronue died and how much he wished he could have told Kuronue how he felt, because there was always something in the way that Kuronue looked at him that made him wonder. He did not want to go through that ever again, so he promised himself that he would never not be up front with his feelings, and for awhile he kept that promise. After escaping into the Living World, as Shuichi Minamono he never hesitated to tell his "mother" or anyone else, regardless of who was standing near or his pride, that he loved them...until he met Hiei.  
  
Hiei was different – laconic and unemotional. He doesn't have the slightest bit for fervor for anyone, besides his stepsister Yukina (even though he never really shows it), and he's more interested in battle than in love. He feels fidelity towards no one, and yet his ability to unknowingly captivate Kurama was unbelievable. And if someone told Hiei that they loved him, he would probably ignore them and walk away, or say they were a fool to think that they were good enough for him, which was part of the reason why Kurama was afraid to confess. He had decided a long time ago, before he really fell hard for Hiei, that if Hiei didn't want to be with him, then Hiei would never know how he truly felt about him.   
  
But he wanted so much to tell Hiei that he loved him. He wanted to tell him, get it over with, and move on with his life, hopefully by Hiei's side. But not knowing what his reaction might be was another problem. There was no reason to believe that Hiei was homophobic because he disliked just about everyone, regardless of whether they were gay or straight. But Hiei was very unpredictable; it was difficult to tell what he was thinking. And he never had discussed his own sexual preference either, let alone hinted as to whether or not he wanted any sort of relationship, friendship or otherwise. He didn't want to scare him, or have Hiei laugh in his face, but Kurama had spent many sleepless nights debating whether he should tell him, and his lack of sleep told him the answer (along with Tama's convincing): if he never told him, he would never get over him, so confessing was his only option.

Kurama had been alone all his life, but it never really bothered him until he fell in love with Hiei. Spending all those sleepless nights in his room, unable to think of anything besides Hiei, started to get to him and he became so lonely, because no one really knew Kurama or truly loved him - they all cared for Shuichi. All of the girls at school wanted to be with Shuichi (not that it really mattered, because he was gay and they all knew that but they chose to ignore it anyway), his mother loved her "son" Shuichi, and pretty much everyone he knew was a friend of Shuichi's, not Kurama's. Sure, Kurama had Tamahome and Yusuke and Kuwabara and...Hiei, and he was extremely thankful for them, but they didn't care for him like he wanted. Kurama wanted for someone to be in love with him, someone to be there for him and to take care of him. He wanted someone to need to be with him.

Sighing, Kurama ripped out the half-written page from his notebook and tossed it to the floor. He had already written 11 or 12 versions of the letter, each no better than the last. With each piece of paper he tossed away he felt apart of himself die, it hurt that he wasn't able to explain such deep feelings, and several times he had to fight back the tears his soul had been longing to cry.

_No...I promised myself I would never again cry over a boy..._

The stress of writing the letter was getting to him, and on top of his insomia, made him weak. And he couldn't stop worrying about Hiei's reaction.

_Not even Hiei..._

* * *

In the dark, Hiei effortlessly jumped from tree to tree, branch to branch as he searched. A breeze cooled his sweaty face. Jumping trees was by no means work for the fire demon; he was sweating out of nervousness.  
  
He stopped and examined his surroundings in the twlight. All of the houses on the street looked similar; they were all two stories, most of which had very few lights on, and the houses that were lit shown no signs of activity inside. It was impossible to tell the color of the houses being that it was night, which didn't help Hiei in his search that was already difficult enough. He hadn't been able to get much information from Kuwabara about it, despite Hiei's threats, since he wasn't really sure either, and Yusuke was nowhere to be found.  
  
Hiei sighed. Kuwabara had said that he lived around here somewhere, but wasn't for certain.   
  
_How am I supposed to find him now? I can't even sense his chi...  
_  
Suddenly he remembered his Third Eye. He glanced around to make sure no humans were nearby. He reached up and removed the white bandana covering his Jagan. Once the eye was open, he looked toward the houses, searching for Kurama's.

* * *

Kurama yawned, crumpling up yet another draft of the letter, this time with only the words "Dear Hiei" written on it.  
  
_"Dear Hiei"...That's no way to begin a love letter...I'll never be able to...I...I can't do this..._  
  
Tears glistened in his emerald eyes and his body suddenly turned cold. He felt sick to his stomach and his hands shook slightly as he sat at his desk, surrounded by the half-finished love letters.  
  
_Hiei doesn't want to be with me...He isn't interested in any relationships...He'll only laugh at me...What was I thinking, letting Tama convince me to do this?_  
  
Finally the tears escaped and streamed down his innocently beautiful face. One right after another they came, outlining the contours of his cheeks.  
  
_Why doesn't he want me?! Why doesn't anybody want me?! All I need is for someone to love me...Is it really that difficult?  
_  
Kurama was sobbing loudly now. He buried his face in his hands and cried, wondering why everything had to be so painful.  
  
_What did I do to deserve this?! Is this my punishment for deceiving my mother all these years?  
_  
"Hn. What's your problem, baka?" A firm voice asked from the window.  
  
Startled, Kurama jumped, knocking his chair over. His eyes widened, his body stiffened and his heart pounded as he slowly turned and stared into the red eyes of Hiei. Immediately he wiped away the tears from his face.  
  
_Oh, no, he's here...And he caught me crying..._  
  
"N-nothing. It's nothing," Kurama managed, his voice cracking and his face blushing. That nervous feeling rose up in his chest again and he struggled to maintain his poise. Hiei didn't reply; instead he shut the window behind him and took his usual place on the window seat.  
  
_Why did he have to startle me like that?! Couldn't he have opened the window a lot less quietly?  
_  
Kurama grabbed a tissue from his desk and brought it up to his nose as if he were to blow it, but stopped when he noticed Hiei watching him. Obviously embarrassed, he turned a light shade of carmine, muttered "Excuse me," and went out into the hall. Once the shoji was shut, he quietly blew his nose.

* * *

Hiei examined Kurama's room. The walls were painted red, with green vines and thorns running across the walls, which all led up to a huge rose painted on the ceiling. One entire wall was lined with bookshelves, which of course were packed with books, which stood next to a sofa (where he did his reading). On the top of the bookshelves sat several pots of flowers, which brought a sweet scent into the room. The wall adjacent to the one with the bookshelves was where his bed and desk were. Kurama's school books were stacked in the corner of his desk (picked up after he had thrown them at Tama) and his bed was neatly made. The room was overall extremely clean, save the chair knocked askew and the paper on the floor.  
  
Hiei walked over to the chair, picked it up, and set it upright. As he pushed the chair in, he glanced over the school books on Kurama's desk.  
  
_Feh. Trigonometry...Chemistry...Literature...A complete waste of his time...  
_  
Then something on the ground caught his attention. The pieces of paper – he noticed one of them had his name on it. He bent down, picked it up, and began unfolding the paper.

* * *

Kurama rested his head up against the wall.  
  
_He's here...I haven't seen him in days, and he's here...Why is he here? And he saw me crying...He must think how extremely weak I am..._  
  
Kurama sighed for the trillionth time that night, trying to erase the nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
  
_Should I...go ahead and tell him now? Yes, I should tell him, otherwise I'd have to wait a couple days to give him the letter, if I ever complete it, and that would be embarrassing handing him the letter and having him look at me oddly...Since I'm already as embarrassed as I'm going to get, now would be the perfect time, if there is such a time...  
_  
Not confident at all in his decision, but seeing as there were no other logical alternatives, he quickly went down the hall to the bathroom to dispose of the used tissue and to wash his hands. Kurama caught a glance of himself in the mirror – his eyes were red and puffy from crying, his cheeks flushing from the embarrassment of being seen by his one and only while crying. After washing his hands, he rinsed his face in cold water, trying to wash away his anxiousness, dried off with a towel, and returned to the hall. He walked quickly and briskly, hurrying to get his task over and done with.  
  
_I can do this...I can do-_  
  
Kurama stopped dead in his tracks. He suddenly remembered that Hiei has telepathy. Panic struck him.  
  
_He could already be aware of my feelings. He could already know that I'm madly in love with him...And yet, he's still here. Why? Maybe I didn't scare him away after all...Does that mean...he has feelings for me as well? _

He shook his head at himself.

_No, because then he'd at least act like he cares...No, Hiei doesn't tell anyone he cares..._  
  
Kurama wanted to punch the wall (or himself). Why did Hiei have to be so confusing? Even the brilliant Kurama couldn't figure him out...  
  
_I suppose I'll just have to tell him whether he is aware of my feelings or not..._  
  
He tiptoed the rest of the way and stood outside his bedroom shoji, but careful not to allow himself to be seen through the paper screen. He closed his eyes, excited at knowing that Hiei was inside, but pained at realizing he was too scared to enter. He pictured Hiei in his mind, just casually sitting on the window seat as he always did, staring out into the outside world. He then pictured himself walking in there, boldly admitting his love for him like in the movies, and Hiei doing the same, wrapping himself in Kurama's arms. Although he knew Hiei would never do that, it was fun to think about. A smile slowly crept up Kurama's face as he daydreamed of his love.  
  
_Wait..._  
  
Kurama's eyes flew open.  
  
_That scent...Hiei's-_  
  
Kurama flung the door open and stared into the room. The window seat was now empty. The wind blew inside from the open window, fluttering his curtains and sending chills through Kurama's body. But he didn't move, he didn't even breathe. Only a single tear rolled down his cheek as he stared in disbelief into the now empty room which had once been filled with so much presence from one person.  
  
_...Why did he leave?_


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Duh.

A/N: Oh, the joys of having people review my fics. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside... Ok, enough of that crap, I was just wanna thank everyone who reviewed, whether you reviewed 'cause you liked "All the Way'' or you just stumbled across this, because getting reviews makes me feel loved in this cruel, uncaring world (How tragic...). And with that, gomen it took me so long to update, but things distract me (like depression, maybe?). Well, here ya go!

Thorns

Chapter Three

Knock, knock.

"Kura–I mean, Shuichi?"

There was no answer. Tama knocked again.

"Kur-Shuichi! I know you're in there, so open up!"

Again, there was no answer.

"Shuichi! Open the damn – err, darn door!"

Tamahome was now pounding (as politely as he could) on the door.

"Shuichi, I have to talk to you! Let me in already!"

Slowly, the front door opened. Mid-knock, Tama blinked, and peered inside. He saw Kurama trudging back through the living and down the hall, with shoulders hunched and eyes glued to the floor.

"Shu-''

"Don't call me that. Mother's not here,'' Kurama firmly ordered as he disappeared around a corner. [A/N: Shiori's on vacation 'cause I said so.]

"Well, sorry," Tama said semi-sarcastically, but glad that now he didn't have to watch his mouth as he shut the door behind him and took off his shoes in the genkah. "Why haven't you been at school for the past two days?"

Silence. Tama sighed and followed Kurama's lead down to his bedroom.

"Look, I'm really sorry I didn't stop by yesterday, but Shiozaki-sensei gave me detention and...well, you know how my mom is. By the way, did you write..?"

He trailed off, staring wide-eyed into Kurama's room.

Kurama sat on the floor, hugging his knees and leaning against the window seat, gravely staring at the carpet in front of him. His hair was unkempt and he was still wearing his pajamas, even though it was the middle of the day, which was unheard of for Kurama.

What was also unheard of was the condition of his room: the floor was cluttered with used tissues and wadded up pieces of paper (more so than before) that he hadn't bothered to properly dispose of. Books from his bookshelves were strewn everywhere that he hadn't bothered to return to their correct places. The blankets from his bed lay in random piles on the floor. A half-eaten bowl of food sat on his desk. Behind him, the window was open, pouring in sunshine (the only thing even slightly cheery in the room), casting dark shadows across his face.

"Kurama…"

Tama crept over all the mess on the floor and knelt down beside him. Kurama had obviously been crying – his eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and Tama could tell that deep inside them lay pain and suffering. His pale face looked tired, but didn't seem as though he wanted to sleep (or rather he couldn't). He didn't seem as though he wanted to do anything, really, but stare at the floor or cry.

"Kurama, what's wrong? Is it…your mother?"

It didn't seem as though Kurama heard the inquiry and didn't know to reply or at least acknowledge that he did in fact hear it. So Tama repeated the question and received the same response, which only augmented his fears that something had indeed happened to Kurama's mother. But much to Tama's relief, Kurama finally shook his head "no".

"Well, what is it then?"

Kurama didn't answer; instead, he held out his hand and pointed to the scattered pieces of paper on the floor next to Tama, who then suspiciously eyed both Kurama and the papers.

"What, did they say you were fat again?" He jokingly questioned, hoping to get a laugh or at least a smile out of Kurama.

Kurama didn't do either, but continued staring at the floor. Tama watched him with growing concern, shifted his weight to sit on the floor, then picked up one of the papers and unfolded it. It was a copy of the letter he had told Kurama to write. Most of the writing was scratched out, rewritten again, and scratched out a second time. The writing was sloppy in comparison to the beautiful characters he always made in his classes, and some of the characters weren't even completed all the way.

Tama turned his attention to Kurama.

"So, you have writer's block-''

He glanced around the messy room.

"-and out of frustration, you decided to do _this_ to your room?"

Kurama turned his stare from the floor to Tamahome with obvious anguish in his eyes, and then suddenly burst into tears. What was left of Tama's smile faded away as Kurama buried his face in his knees and cried. Tama moved closer beside Kurama.

"Kurama, it's okay. You know I was only kidding," Tama whispered gently, rubbing Kurama's back in attempt to comfort him. "But, please, tell me what's really bothering you."

Kurama lifted his head a little to speak.

"Hi-Hiei c-came over," He managed between sobs, his voice cracking and barely audible. He dropped his head back down after he finished.

Tama hesitated before speaking again, not sure as to why this was making Kurama cry, unless these were tears of joy.

"Well, what's so bad about that?"

There was a pause.

"H-he left…"

Tama smiled and laughed a little.

"So, are you crying because you miss him?" He said, teasing a little, but glad it was nothing serious that had happened.

"No! I mean he left! I excused myself out into the hall and when I returned he was gone!" Kurama sobbed painfully. "He left without explaining why or even saying goodbye! I had finally forced myself to attempt to tell him how I feel, but before I could he left…"

Once again, Tama's smile faded.

"Oh, Kurama, I'm so sorry...Do you know why he left? Maybe he had a meeting or something…"

Kurama scoffed.

"Demons don't have meetings, Tama...All they ever want to do is kill or hunt or find some way to increase their powers so they can be the strongest. They don't fall in love like this, and they don't care about other people's feelings, either. Hiei is no exception. In fact, he's the standard..."

He sighed painfully.

"He doesn't want me, he never will, and neither will anyone else. I'm not good enough for anyone, and I'll die alone. So, until then I'll just spend my time with my mother…deceiving and lying to her...Then when she's gone...I...I..."

Kurama's tears were uncontrollable now. They streamed down his cheeks with occasional choked sobs in between, and showed no signs of stopping.

Staring at the floor, Tama thought about what needed to be said to Kurama, who sat sobbing beside him. Tama's heart ached for Kurama as he listened to his best friend, but he couldn't think of anything, so he slid his arm around Kurama's shoulders to let him know that he was here for him. They felt warm, meaning he had sat there for in the sun for awhile, probably crying like he was now, which made Tama feel worse.

Tama was not used to being the one to give advice. Usually it was Kurama, who was so brilliant and sympathetic. He was kind and genuine and cared about everyone and everything. He was always willing to help someone out and never, ever asked them for anything in return. And now it was Tama's turn, and he was drawing a blank. But how could Hiei act this way? He concluded that Hiei was either blind or completely stupid, that he couldn't see how wonderful Kurama was or that he didn't possess the abilities of realizing it.

_Or he has to be toying with him...No one can cause this much pain on accident..._

Just as Tama was about to speak (he decided that saying anything was better than nothing), the sunlight that poured over them disappeared and they sat in shadow, a shadow that almost looked like a person's shadow. Tama immediately turned around to see who was there, but they, or whatever it was, had vanished as quickly as they had came, and the sunlight had returned. He stared for a couple moments, and then turned back to the sobbing Kurama, who hadn't seemed to notice the change.

"Kurama..." Tama began. "Uh...How can you say that no one loves you? I love you, your mother loves you, and so did your father...I honestly don't know what to tell you about your mother, but she does love you. It, uh...It has to be hard keeping all this from her, but I don't really think there's anything you can do, besides telling her or not, so there's no use crying about it.

"And there's no way you're gonna die alone. I'll always be here for you like you have for me. You are the best friend I've ever had in my entire life and you are the most caring, gentle and intelligent person I have ever met. Anybody would be lucky to be with you, be friends with you, or even know you. And if Hiei can't see that, and if he would even consider being so rude to you, then he's nothing but a lost soul who's missing out on so much. He's a huge idiot for treating you like this, and you are too for not getting over him already. You're wasting your time, and-"

Kurama cut Tama off by pushing him away from him.

"He is not an idiot. He's not aware of what his actions are doing to me."

"...Now you're defending him?'' Tama asked, staring at Kurama.

"Yes, because it's true," Kurama answered. "He has no idea how I feel, and I'm sure that if he knew-"

This time it was Tama's turn to cut him off.

"If you know how he'd act if he knew, then why do you keep putting it off?"

Kurama didn't answer, but stared back at Tama.

"Because you don't know. You just don't want to be wrong is all. Just get over him. And weren't you saying a little earlier that he doesn't care about other people's feelings?"

Kurama's voice rose.

"This isn't a contest of who's right or wrong, Tama! I...I can't be sure about everything concerning this, because it's one huge contradiction and I can't even think properly! All I know is that I want all my pain to go away!"

Kurama was now yelling, his stress mounting.

"And right now, your assuming that I need to be right about everything is NOT helping me! You have no idea how this feels!"

"How can I _not_ know how it feels, Kurama?! I know because I can see your pain in your eyes and I can feel your pain in your words and I can sense your pain in your actions."

This time the tears were in Tamahome's eyes.

"I'm trying my very best to help you! Don't forget, you're the one who came to me for help, so you have no right to complain about my advice! You know it hurts me to see you like this, to be so caught up over one little boy! You're smarter than that! Why do you let him get to you?!"

"Because I'm in love with him! It's that simple – I love him and I probably won't ever stop! I can't help it, he's perfect in every way and I want to spend the rest of my life with Hiei and no one else!" Kurama explained, silently crying. Anger and hurt resided in his eyes.

Tama stared in disbelief at his friend, trying to figure it out how Hiei could hurt him and Kurama would still love him. It didn't make sense; being in love was supposed to be an overwhelming feeling of happiness, where the only thing you could do was smile because the most wonderful person in the world was in love with you, and you were supposed to feel invincible as long as your lover was nearby. But here, there were no overwhelming feelings of happiness, no smiles, no feelings of invincibility…Instead there was depression, heart aches, tears…

"You say he's perfect? If he was, then wouldn't he be with you right now?! Wouldn't you be happy then?! But no, he's not here and you're not happy, so he's not perfect!!"

Tama was on his feet, heading towards the door to leave, not wanting to speak with Kurama anymore.

"Oh, and another thing..."

Glaring, he turned back to Kurama to scream one more thing at him.

"If you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then just fucking tell him already!!"

Kurama stared up at Tama, surprised at the outburst. His instincts told him to remain calm, shouting would get them nowhere, and to explain as gently as he could why he disagreed with Tama. Kurama ignored these instincts, and screamed right back at him.

"What would be the point?! To be humiliated? Crushed? Devastated? To live the rest of my life in complete misery because he rejected me? Is that what you want? Do you want me to have more things to cry about, you sadistic little prick?!"

Tama was truly taken back from Kurama's words. Eyes widened, he stared in surprise at him before finally speaking.

"Kurama...you already _are_ living in complete misery," he said through clenched teeth, trying to stay calm, but it was difficult because Tama had never heard Kurama insult anyone, and he had just chosen his best friend as his first victim.

"Rejection would be a hundred times worse than this could ever be!!"

"Dammit, Kurama, what if he loves you back?"

"He doesn't!!" Kurama shouted.

"Prove it! Prove to me that he doesn't love you, or even like you!"

"Prove to me that does!!"

"How can I prove it when I don't even know the fuck-face?!"

"Then stop advising me on how to deal with someone whom you've never met!!!"

Kurama's eyes were flashing madly of anger, and tears were streaming down his cheeks. His chest was heaving, trying to catch his breath. Tama stood across the room from him, much in the same manner, and finally accepted defeat. He could not change Kurama, he could not change how Kurama felt, and he could not change how Kurama saw both the situation and Hiei, no matter how much it hurt the both of them. There was nothing that Tama could do.

Finally catching his breath, in a quiet voice he replied, "I suppose I'll just leave then. Good luck…I guess."

He glared at Kurama one more time, and slammed the door, deeply angry at his best friend.

Kurama sighed, and began sobbing again.

Across the street, a figure sat on a tree, his back to the house. He sat, holding a letter in his trembling hands. Big, tear-filled eyes stared into the distance trying to put to words what he had seen in Kurama's room.

_Someone was...holding him...Holding my Kurama..._

A/N: Thank God this chapter is over! Finally! Took me FOREVER to write. You better like it, because I put a lot of work into it. -.- I think I can prolly squeeze one more update outta here before school starts (on the 7th of next month, I think), and then after that updates will be scarce, because I won't have the luxury of having the house to myself all day long. Can't very well be typing a shounen-ai fanfic when my family's home, can I? Nope. I cannot. So I'll prolly just skip school a couple times to update for y'all. So you better review and tell me how much you liked it, 'specially if I get caught. (Don't worry, they always believe me when I pretend to be sick. Aren't I sneaky?)'Till then, buh-bye!


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